There is an LDS bookstore here in Edmonton. One of the services they provide is the compilation of “This is the Place” which they call an “LDS-owned business and professional services guide for Northern Alberta”. This, I assume, appeals to the type of person who is only willing to buy a bed, have a spinal adjustment or purchase a car from a fellow Mormon. The guide itself is free, but it appears that people pay to have their info included.
While this idea is already a touch creepy and insular, they go even further. They have a list of top ten reasons for using “This is the Place”. They are listed in the column below to the left. My editorial comments/translations on these “reasons” are to the right.
|10. Because this directory fits right beside your ward or stake directory. It is like the yellow pages that goes with your church white pages.|
9. Because we are a “peculiar” people, with specific needs and expectations.
8. Because it’s fun to see who is doing what! Did you know that someone in your ward offered that service?
7. Because it is like getting a referral from a friend.
6. Because “This is the Place” is thinner and less confusing than the phone book.
5. Because you are building the church community in this area by supporting the businesses in this book.
4. Because the people advertising their services in this directory are just like you—trying to be the best they can be.
3. Because it is a good thing to do business with your brother or sister. We are one big family.
2. “If there is anything…of good report, praiseworthy, we seek after these things.” 13 Article of Faith. Somebody has to give the “Good Report”.
1. Because You’re worth it!
10. note: I have never seen a ward directory of this size (slightly smaller than letter paper folded in half).
9. “Uh, yeah, I need a bed that can accommodate my LDS lifestyle….” or “I’m sorry I only let the temple worthy clean my teeth.”
8. Use us to fuel the rumor mill!
7. Or getting a referral from a for-profit business. Close enough.
6. Use us because you’re stupid.
5. I have no comment to share except to say: this is creepy.
4. As opposed to every other business owner in the world that is aiming for mediocrity
3. Please don’t succumb to the foolish notion that non-Latter-day Saints are also your spirit siblings. This is false.
2. If you need a citation for the Articles of Faith, should you really even be able to read the directory?
1. I can make neither heads nor tails of this one. Does it even sequitor?