All My Gettings

Why I should not be allowed to work in public service

Posted by alea at 4:02 PM

I sometimes, like regularly, have a problem with saying things that I probably should have kept to myself. I worry about this a fair amount, but obviously not enough to do much about it. Which means I keep blurting things out without thinking. Fortunately, they rarely get me in trouble. Take today, this conversation at work today while helping a woman probably around my mother's age select a book on cd. We were walking towards the section of books on cd because she wanted one that was available for pick up today.

Me: "What kind of books do you typically like?"
Her: "Oh, all kinds. I like silly books. I just finished one that had a bit too much of a mystery. I don't like things with too much horror. [beat] Nothing that will keep me up at night."
Me, glancing a couple of titles by Jackie Collins: "Well, I see we have some Jackie Collins books, but those might keep you up for different reasons."

At which point, thankfully, she laughed. And so did I. Then, I turned beet red. I'm guessing my propensity for blushing in these sorts of scenarios is what saves me from being a creeper. Because, I'm not a creeper, right? And, blushing is always charming. At least, that's how I'm going to imagine it.

So much straw

Posted by alea at 5:42 PM

I have, ever since I stumbled on them and nearly died from cuteness, been looking for an excuse to buy one of St Anne's Pixies. But none ever arose. Or rather, I couldn't justify to myself the expense.

But look at them! They are so adorable!

Which is to say that the graduation gift from my brother, and assembled artfully by my sister, is pretty much the greatest thing ever. Behold:

That is St. Thomas Aquinas, patron of (among other things) scholars*. The little sign in front is a purported quote of his. After spending years and years pouring all his energies into attempting to intellectually argue for the existence of God, he had a vision of some sort. He stopped all his work right then. When asked why, he said, "It seems like straw to me." Or, since he was a Catholic priest in the 13th century, he said (or was reported as having said--did peeps honestly just speak Latin to each other?) "mihi videtur ut palea".

Seriously, can you imagine anything better? He is totally getting pride of place in all my future interior decorating.

*There is not, to my knowledge, a patron saint of the over-degreed. But this is pretty close.

Come, Let Us Anew

Posted by alea at 4:43 PM

I have a tendency to misread things pretty astoundingly. Such as this. Another example is in the hymn "The Spirit of God". I always heard the line "the knowledge and power of God is expanding" to mean God is gaining new knowledge and power. I'm guessing that the standard way of reading that one is that people's knowledge of God and his power on the earth, thanks to righteous restorationists, is increasing.

But I like my reading. I like it because it points to this awesome idea in Mormon theology, that God might not have all the answers. That he might still be learning. That there really might not ever be any end to truth. This idea is one of the gladdest tidings from Cumorah imaginable.

I forget that there's glad tidings at all a lot of the time. I get mired down in this and that frustration, these and those irritations, reminders of how I don't fit in and, in the words of another hymn, "many a conflict, many a doubt, fightings and fears within, without". But, there's so much that's good and beautiful and true in the gospel. So much.

These musings were sparked, in part, because today is Mormon New Year. 181 years ago, a little group of people got together with only hazy notions of Mormon ideas, mostly centered around a book that this dude claim he translated and a desire for a total restoration of Christianity. They officially formed a church, re-baptized people and started down a path that would lead, very directly, to today. To me here. Not that I'm a culmination of anything, but still.

I have my ways I mark Mormon New Year. You have cupcakes for Jesus. I wear a t-shirt proclaiming some sort of positive Mormon message. I spread the news of the holiday in general. You greet others with "Art thou a brother or a sister?". But this year, I'm going to do something a little bit different. I'm going to make some new years resolutions.

In a way, this is like another tradition my family has, the Jesus stocking. Every Christmas Eve, my family gathers to read the Luke 2 account and then write down, secretly on 3x5 cards, the gift we're going to give to Jesus that year. These cards get put into a tiny, soft white stocking that is hung alongside all the other ones. I typically don't remember what I write down and am always sorta surprised the next year when I see what I had promised (because, purpose is but slave to memory). Not that surprised, though, since my card has said roughly the same thing since I was about 13.

I'm not really sure I'll remember much better the resolutions I make in April than the ones on December 24th or early January. But, I think it's a good idea. And one that will help me live up to the hope I have to someday be the person whose knowledge and power are expanding. Maybe it'll happen. Maybe.

Flat, fat and puffy

Posted by alea at 9:01 PM

The day before Lent, if you're from the Mediterranean or South American worlds (or even other parts of Continental Europe), means a raucous good time fueled by alcohol. If, however, you're from the the British Isles, it means pancakes. Because that's, apparently, how you tie one on in England. Knowing me, it should be obvious which manner I choose to celebrate in.

So, here's my breakfast from today:

Growing up, we rarely had regular pancakes. I'm not sure why this is. Instead, we typically ate "flat pancakes". That's what my family called crepes. My parents excel at making these paper-thin and perfectly browned, something I have never been able to manage. My dad seemed particularly skilled on this front (he is also preternaturally talented at slicing apple very, very thin. Translucent, even.) I remember flat pancakes with incredible fondness. Getting them right as they came out of the pan, slathering them in butter and liberally sprinkling with cinnamon and sugar and then rolling them tightly. I could eat them as quickly as they could be made.

In later years, I learned, somewhat alarmed, that people put other things on crepes. I have tried this a few times, but neither jam nor nutella nor anything else satisfies me in quite the same way that the blend of pliant pancake, runny butter and crunchy sugar does. It never occurred to me that eating crepes with the regularity that we did may not have been typical, in that way that whatever your family does when you're young seems wholly natural.

Regular pancakes, or as my family called them fat pancakes, have always left me feeling slightly disappointed. They're not crepes, is really their problem. They are also much more work than what we ate even more regularly than crepes: puffy pancakes. I understand other people call these German pancakes, but I prefer the description of the peaks and valleys created as if by magic while they bake. There was always, at least in my mind, a sort of strategic battle for the corners of the pancakes, where the edges were crispiest and the butter pooled under the fold. Getting that piece was a little taste of heaven. And doing so required pacing yourself so that you'd be gong for seconds at the ideal point to take it without looking greedy.

Puffy pancakes, I'm pretty sure, were the first thing I ever made on my own. There are, therefore, ground zero for my love of making food. I remember vividly discovering that the recipe for flat pancakes and puffies was identical (6 eggs, 1 cup flour, 1 cup milk). Back then, it seemed like a beautiful lie. How could the same materials produce such obviously different products? I'm still not entirely sure how this works, but it does. Which is why every time I make a batch of puffies, I am always awed when I pull them out of the oven.

For me, then, puffies are a wonderful way to kick off Lent. I'm saying, "Here, God. Here's the eggs, and flour and milk of my soul. It's not much right now. But, take it. I'm sure you'll make it into something delicious and magic." Here's hoping that's true.

Not so much a flood as a really big stockpot

Posted by alea at 4:20 PM

Of the many, many things I like, there are some common themes.

I like things made out of wood. I like things that are described, accurately, as "miniature". I like toys. I like Noah's Ark.

So, what if there were something that combined all of this? Well, dear reader, behold:

It this were also somehow scented of rising yeast, I would probably die upon contact with it. From sheer pleasure overload.

It is from Etsy. Since somebody should buy this for me you can do so here. Or I could just buy it for myself. Except that I keep spending money I don't have. And, spending 125 bucks for one toy seems a bit excessive compared to the 10 buck books I keep buying (as if I need more books! Sigh...) [Also, the Trojan horse is totally adorable, too!]

Bro-versations

Posted by alea at 5:45 PM

My older brother and I text a fair amount. I mean, not a crazy lot, but more than the average bear. We're not in the thousands of texts per month category. Yet. But, it'd be weird to go a day without sending a few messages back and forth. Part of the reason why we text so much is that I find him totally hilarious. I'm not sure what he's getting out of the deal, but me? I'm enjoying myself. For instance, I give you the following two exchanges. I think I might post some of these sort of regularly, not least because they are awesome. But also, my phone can only hold, like, 12 texts so having them here will lighten the electronic load while keeping them in remembrance. I'll try to avoid ones that involve complex, acronym-riddled inside jokes.

Me: I just had a Little Debbies Snack Cake for breakfast. Because I am a champion.

Bro: Did u wash it down w/ a cold beer?

Me: Actually, used the leftover diet coke from mcd's yesterday.

Bro: Nice! Isn't it cold in just wife-beater though?

And just from yesterday:

Me: Surely pitas are not beyond the limit of a reasonable grocery store? Why do you not carry them fresh market?

Bro: Hahahah. U r such an eltist! Just have meat and spuds!!

Me: Am making lentils and potats in coco milk...i am not helping my case am I?

Bro: Hahaah. Is your beret color coordinated w/ bowtie?

Me: Please. Am wearing a top hat. Obviously.

Bro: And tails?

Me: Tails are out this season.

Ideal morningscape

Posted by alea at 12:21 AM

Every morning since late December, I wake up to this:

This image (thanks, mediocre camera and bad photo skills!) doesn't really do it justice. But it's got these lovely textures to it, including the white, which is soft and flannelly. Just like repentance should be. Wait, what? you're saying, repentance? Yep. It's a version of the Wordless Book. And also one of the best Christmas gifts I've ever gotten.

Thanks, friend!

Wearing my personality on my collar

Posted by alea at 8:33 AM

On Saturday, I bought six more bow ties. Six! This brings my total up to 32. Which means, even on the longest month, I could wear one a day without a repeat. Of course, I have yet to reach the magical 52, which would make it possible to wear a different one every Sunday (though, since there are two Sundays that are conference and at least two more that are freebies, i.e. Stake Conference, maybe I only need to hit 48?).

I love bow ties. Not only does it blow mind of other people that I could master the knot, they also allow a handy shortcut into understanding my personality. For instance, just since Friday, people have pointed to my wearing of a bow tie to indicate the following:

I must be Mormon
I have bad taste
I have aspirations to academia
I am a pretentious jerk

For this last one, all it took was my friend to make the claim and then stare meaningfully at my bow tie when asked what would give him that impression. It's so convenient that I can broadcast these things about myself nonverbally. It saves everybody so much time. And don't worry if you're about to connect me and bow ties and some other trait. It's all true.