Costly apparel


While a student at a certain church-owned university in Utah County, my friends and I would frequently come up with funny slogans with the idea of putting said humourous statements on t-shirts. We had a lengthy list, but very few actually made it from the concept to the production phase (a notable exception was a member of the Uncalled 4's performance art/civil disobedience in regards to the uni's aggressive pro-shaving policy). One of our ideas was to make up fake courses for the religion department to teach (e.g. REL C 114: Swallowing Camels (Prerequisite REL C 112: Straining at Gnats) or REL C 350: Law Hedge Building). The other night, while in institute class the following idea came to me:

What about extending this idea and creating a type of scriptural "motto" (or anti-motto) for various departments. So of these were probably previously discussed at informal Uncalled 4 meetings, but I do think some are new.

School of Business: Fitting Camels Through Needles

Psychology: Our Thoughts Will Condemn Us

Law: All the Arts and Cunning (Alma 10.15 )

Education: Trust No Man to Be Your Teacher (Mosiah 23:14)

Graduate Studies: When They Are Learned, They Think They Are Wise

Geology: Seven Thousand Years of Earth's Continuance (D&C 77:6)

Family History: Endless Genealogies

Astronomy: Worlds Without Number

Dance: Lifting Up Unto Exceeding Rudeness (1 Nephi 18:9)

Economics: Filthy Lucre

Political Science: Rendering Unto Caesar

Linguistics: Nothing Will Be Restrained From Them,(see Genesis 11)

Philosophy: Vain Imaginations

Food Sciences: That Which Goeth Into the Mouth ( Matt. 15:11)

Clearly, these aren't complete. I welcome suggestions, improvements and so on. The only one I really want to make a shirt out of, though is Linguistics. Now, there's an allusion it'd really take a scriptorian to catch (so, did you know that "scriptorian" is a Mormon word? The OED doesn't have it and Onelook comes back saying NO dictionaries contain it. I guess we are peculiar people after all).


Petra said...

I like the Linguistics one. Go for it. Or you could try "Linguistics: We frame to pronounce it properly" or, to be a bit more obvious, "Linguistics: Say now Shibboleth."

Oh, hey, this is kind of fun. How about "African-American Studies: The curse of Cain" or "Gender Studies: It is not permitted unto them," (can you catch that one?) or maybe "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Studies: The Sin of Sodom."

alea said...

You always were such a Paul fan, Petra. I thought about "Drama: Hate the Sinner, Love the Sin", but it sounded too much like drama was at fault and not the catamites. Though, that does have a nice ring to it for counseling.

Also, of course, "MFHD: No Success Can Compensate"

Anonymous said...

So I'm trying to think of one for mathematics but unfortunately I'm no good at this. The scripture search turned up no mentions of the words "mathematics" or "math"...I thought maybe the D&C would have something about it. Maybe there's a good Orson Pratt quote out there on the topic....?

Petra said...

Mathematics: It shall be added unto them.

(That's kind of lame, but that's the best I can do on the spur of the moment.)

alea said...

Mathematics: Multiplying and Replenishing

or perhaps:

Mathematics: Weighed in the balance and found wanting.

neither are great, so maybe math doesn't lend itself to be mocked.

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