Married to God

While I'm not above stealing ideas, this one gets credit. Annie pointed us in the direction first.

Last Friday, during the dinner party, I was complaining, as is my wont, about unrequited love. This seems like such a bad set up. All that anguish, frustration and so on. To which, my friend Annie said that the whole point is that all God deals with all day is unrequited love. He sits up there, loving everybody and being ignored or spurned or whatever. So, in effect, God is the perfect boyfriend. Want proof?

  • He's always willing to listen to you, even if you walk him up late at night
  • He's building you a mansion
  • He makes the sun rise for you. Every day.
  • No matter how mean you are to Him, He takes you back, no questions, the second you're ready
  • He gives you flowers. All kinds. Every year.
  • He's unbelievably patient
  • He thinks you're great, even when nobody else does.
There were others which escape me currently. Sure, sure, He can be a bit jealous and, when it comes time to have kids, he'll probably be a sort of iffy father. But, I mean, as a suitor, what more could you ask for?

We listen to a prophet's voice

I freaking love General Conference. Without fail, there is a handful of talks I hear that make me want to jump up and down and say, "Yes! Yes! This is what it means to be a Mormon." I mean, sure, you have to filter out the other talks and, recently, keep reminding yourself that the continual choice of white lawyers from Utah doesn't mean that the Church isn't true. Maybe we'll be lucky this time around? Regardless, it stands to be a lovely weekend.

Also, find the lie in the following hymn we sung in church on Sunday:

We listen to a prophet’s voice and hear the Savior too.
With love he bids us do the work the Lord would have us do.
The Savior calls his chosen seer to preach the word of God,
That men might learn to find the path marked by the iron rod.

In ev’ry land, in ev’ry tongue, our prophet will be heard;
How swiftly round the world his voice reveals the gospel word!
The sacred message that he brings will witness and agree
With ev’ry prophet called of God throughout earth’s history.

Hosanna! Let our praise ascend unto the Savior’s throne;
Rejoice! The prophet has confirmed that by Him we are known.
Attend, ye earth! The prophet speaks; come listen and obey.
He is the man who holds the keys of priesthood pow’r today.

Stubble up!

This article is pretty interesting. And, also, is an example of the absurdity of evolutionary theories. To wit, "The explanation for the preference is not clear, but experts in human evolution say that that facial hair may be a signal of aggression because it boosts the apparent size of the lower jaw, emphasising the teeth as weapons."

I don't know about you, but I don't often think about using my teeth as some sort of deadly device.

Someone social-sciency should carry this out with Mormons to see if the same trends are true, what with strong social aversions to facial hair.

Dear Mother Nature

One to four inches of snow during the morning commute is a classic April Fools joke. Props for that. Seriously, a hoot.

However, I think it's time for you to give us our spring back.

Thanks bunches!