beat me, daddy


In Sunday School this week, someone brought up the fact that, if we want to see a good example of fatherhood, we should look to our Heavenly Father. Now, I'm a fan of God, in particular the Mormon conception of God, but let's think about this assertion. Imagine for a minute that you're going to pattern your life as the head of your household after him. Here's some things you should probably do:

  • Never show up in person
  • Expect seemingly impossible things of your children
  • Only be willing to accept your children if they do precisely what you want them to
  • Demand that your way is better and require submission to it
  • Don't communicate openly with them
  • Give them examples of seriously injuring your other children as an impetus to shape up
  • Make arbitrary rules, and change them from time to time
  • Make your oldest son do most of the work
  • Allow all sorts of bad things to happen to your kids, because you can't stop their siblings from being mean to them
It's pretty obvious I shouldn't go to church when I'm a snarky mood, right?


Anonymous said...


I'm learning about the Documentary Hypothesis right now. Fascinating stuff! But none of the gods described in the different proposed sources for the Old Testament—the Yahwist's YHWH, the Elohist's or Priest's Elohim and the Deuteronimist's YHWH Elohainu—seem like someone I'd want my father to pattern himself after. We had enough trouble getting along as it was.

Hildegarde said...

Snarky indeed. But if you only came when you weren't then we would never see you then would we? :P

Kaneeneenie said...

don't forget "keep then from finding out anything at all about their mother."

Kim Siever said...

Some good points indeed.

Jaclyn said...

quite the set of remarks, but I love the use of the word snarky. I've said it twice today after reading this!

[kɹeɪ̯g̊] said...

I agree completely - not terribly encouraging, is it?

Post a Comment