For a limited time, your subscription also includes a 50% chance of type 2 diabetes!!


I am not the kind of person who buys groceries on amazon. However, I am the kind of person who can successfully, on my own, consume one of those largest (four pounds or so, right?) bags of peanut m&ms in less than a fortnight. Without even breaking a sweat, so to speak. That I have not yet ballooned to 300 lbs can probably be positively correlated with the effort required to actually acquire the candy. Because, frankly, dragging my sweet tooth everyone in the industrial-size wheelbarrow it requires is exhausting.

Thus, the idea of subscribing to get a supply of candy seems like total magic to me. For instance, you can subscribe to get a monthly bag of Haribo Gummi Bears. Of course, in my case, I'd probably need more than one bag. In the words my brother stole from my mouth, "Five pounds is awfully small." Though, really, I'd prefer if I could get my candy weekly.

Also? They are claiming that white gummis are flavored like pineapple. I'm pretty sure that's a lie. And lastly: Haribo's slogan rhymes the world over. Isn't that adorable?


Oneup said...

What are you talking about?!?! White gummis ALWAYS been pineapple flavor. Trust me.

alea said...

My contention is that the "flavors" are all too sort of non-specifically fruity to be meaningless.

Oneup said...

Clearly you need to spend more time training your tastebuds...Gourmet gummis cannot be slung past your tonsils and uvula at a speed that doesn't allow for the flavors to come across as distinct and yummy.

Katherine said...

I actually have a conditioned physical response to the mere mention of Haribo gummi bears--my mouth waters and my teeth hurt a bit.

(That's kind of creepy, now that I think about it.)

The point is, though, that you might have just made my life by pointing me toward this subscription. Although I recently polished off a kilo of them by myself in a couple days, so you're right that five pounds really isn't an adequate monthly supply.

alea said...

Haribo has its fangs in you!! Though, there are much less desirable addictions, right? That's how I always justify my obsessive behaviors.

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