All My Gettings

Here Neil Simon gives us the world’s greatest detectives at their most stereotypical pitted against one another to solve a most dastardly plot. The conceit wears a bit thin over the course of the film, especially if, like me, you’re not that into Nick & Nora, Sam Spade, Charlie Chan, und so weiter. And the twists and turns are either glaringly obvious or off-puttingly offbeat. However, the one-liners are definitely worth the ninety-five minutes of playing time. Plus, you get the added bonus of the final rant against mystery novels (which neatly encapsulates why they frustrate me). To really seal the deal, it stars David Niven, Maggie Smith, Peter Falk, Peter Sellers, and Alec Guinness (among others). Not to mention Truman Capote as the insane mastermind. Yes, that Truman Capote, in all his short-bodied, high-voiced glory. Seriously check it out. And then you’ll understand the lovely line by Dick Charleston: “Saved only by the fact that I am enormously well-bred.”