All My Gettings

If there are two things that BYU's Honor Code is missing it's the prohibition of kissing in public and financial incentives for obeying. Thank goodness that Southern Virginia University has rectified these oversights. Their honor code, according to the official rhetoric "uplifts an individual not only when classes are in session, but on weekends, during breaks, and throughout any period of absence from the university". I guess it could do that. Or it could crush you.

So, here's the link.

Let's break some things down, shall we?

• no gossip? even if it's all in good fun? who gets to determine if a rumor is "harmful"?
  
• election-tampering is specifically named. Why? was there some political boss of SVU who had to be taken down?
  
• "Pay your debts on time." Odd? yes. Necessary? Only when speaking about student loans that are coming due
  
• PDAs are out. But so is sleeping in the same room as someone of the opposite gender? Guess those trannes-to-be will have awkward times explaining why they have to sleep with the girls.
  
• only make out if you're married? I thought PDA-restrictions were Puritanical, now they're even robbing us of our dark corners.
  
• what if a boy is married to a boy in MA? Can they "lie down with each other"?
  
• since when are cds R-rated?
  
• Do not, if you have any scrap of respect left for this school, read the residential living standards. There's a rule about three people at all times during a visit. Ugh.
  
• "Do not consume more of a prescription drug than was prescribed to you." Moms and doctors everywhere are cheering this bold stance. Plus, it's obviously a matter of virtue to not double-up when you miss a dose.
  
• Where's the thinly veiled homophobia?
  

Now, let's think about the dress and grooming standards. First of all, I love how most of these are written as statements of fact (e.g. "Men wear swim trunks that are not form-fitting") and not rules. I mean, they may be true in some cases, but I feel they do not always hold (I know a lot of men who wear make-up).

• They say "Hair in a naturally-occurring color" and then, just to avoid the argument that the rainforest produces some awsome neons clarify with: black, brown, auburn, natural red, blonde, grey.
  
• "Clothing that covers from the shoulders to the knees" Why not just go the route of the burka. It'd save a lot of hassle.
  
• "Pre-existing tattoos must be kept covered as much as possible, including during participation in athletic activities." Sure they believe in repentance, but only if the sins are hidden very, very well.
  
• "Consequently, these standards are to be followed, not challenged." This is one of the scariest, vaguely evil ideas in all of this.

You can read more about penalties, including fines, here.

They close the appendices with a quote from the 13th Article of Faith. Though, in their case it should probably read like this:

“We believe in agreeing to being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, well-groomed circa 1950 and in doing good to all men (including informing on them so they can repent). We might, if pushed, say that we follow the admonition of Paul (as far as it is translated correctly). We believe all correlated things, we hope all things, we have endured many things (including an world ever increasing in sin) and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. Unless it's found near things that are profane, lewd, R-rated, gossipy, drug/alcohol/coffee-related, or insulting. Then we avoid it.”

Note: there's a librarian position open at SVU? Do I hate myself enough to go for it? I think I might.