Come into my boudoir

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I have some warnings that indicate my life is currently in a state that I find less than desirable. One of them is increased consumption of country music (which, I think, has to do with my finding it comforting...childhood and all that jazz). At any rate, on my way home from lace tonight, I heard an ad on a country station that was, well, weird.

It was for a boudoir photographer. It had a wife talking about how she wanted to make this anniversary special for her husband, so she got him a "coffee table book for his eyes only"*, full of photos of her in, I suppose, erotic positions. This seems odd to me. If it's your husband/lover can't he, um, see the flesh and blood version? Why would he need a book? Also, is it not pornographic if it's your wife? And, what about the concerns that he might find the airbrushed you more attractive or turn to other types of porn to get his fix? And, the ad contained reassurances that it'll boost confidence for the women. Which I'm suspicious of. Probably because I have a Puritanical view of sex, right?

And, more importantly, are country music listeners more likely to seek out this type of service? And is there a viable market for this in Utah? Deliciously, her studio is in Provo. And she claims to have a selection of fun lingerie for people to wear during her shoots (um, communal lingerie? I'm not cool with that, are you?) I wonder if she's got a bee costume of sorts. If not, I know where she can pick one up.

Her website, hilariously (to me) showcases the two sides of her business: the boudoir and the Anne Geddes-style newborns** in bows and objects. Because, you know, you may as well capitalize on both ends of your business model, right? (if you look at the galleries, can we talk about the baby's foot with the wedding rings on it, please?)

There's also part of me that's tempted to call up the photographer and ask if she'd do a boudoir shoot for me. I mean, it'd only be about 250 dollars, and sure I can find a use for photos of me in alluring poses, right?

*I'm pretty sure that "coffee table" book only works if it's the sort of book you'd put out for folks to see, am I wrong?

**Anne Geddes photos are creepy, right?

10 comments:

oneup said...

Do you have fantasies about women in bee costumes??? What's her website?????

oneup said...

I saw the link as my mother was reading your blog. She quite likes your writing. I'm a bit tired and loopy...

Pinto said...

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just sat here doing that thing Will Ferrel does in Elf when he sprays perfume into his mouth.

"Eeeehhhhh bleeeeeehhh meeehhh mmm meeeeehhh ehhhhhhh!" shaking my head in a 'no no no no' way.

alea said...

oneup:I do not, but I once saw a bee costume in a lingerie store. I was confused.

Pinto: is the thought of me scantily clad so disturbing?

Petra said...

I would pay good money, and lots of it, to have a coffee table book of you posing seductively in a bee costume. I would leave it lying around in all sorts of places, like my church building. Now you know what to get me for my next birthday.

Seagulljaap said...

I understand now. Ah! Is it really as bad as that website for the crazy guy though?

Annie said...

the rings/baby feet pictures people do these days are weird...almost as uninteresting to look at as the pictures of the rings on the bride and groom's hands. also, i DARE you to have her take pictures of you. or maybe give it as a present to someone...because that wouldn't be hilarious or anything.

Shaun R. said...

Anne Geddes photos are definitely creepy.

Pinto said...

wait. if Petra gets a Bee-book, can I see some proofs. Because, it's true. That might in fact make my life.

It's the current gallery pics on that site that fa-reak me out. ::shudders simply at the brief visual recall::

oneup said...

Could you imagine your children finding that book when you die???? Or even worse, before that???? The horror!

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